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Guest Editor: Amber Trueblood, LMFT
Author, Speaker, Therapist & Mother of Four

It’s that time of year, right? Everyone’s talking about resolutions. After the toil and trouble of the last nine months, self-kindness will be vital in 2021.What if you RESOLVE to be kinder to yourself? What if you RESOLVE to be gentler with yourself? How might self-kindness create resolutions that benefit you, your family, and your future?

I like to call these R.E.A.L. Resolutions: They are Realistic. They are Exciting. They are Aligned. And, like your dear little babies, they are LITTLE.

If your resolution is Realistic, you’re more likely to actually begin.

If your resolution is Exciting, you’re more likely to keep at it until you see the actual benefits in your life.

If your resolution is Aligned, it’s more likely to bring more of what you truly value into your life.

If your resolution feels Little (instead of feeling like an added pressure or expectation to your life) it will serve to lighten your load.

Here are my top three recommendations for REAL Resolutions for New and Expecting Moms:

  1. Stop Self-Bullying. It’s not helping you, serving you, or allowing you to truly become your best self.
    • Write out the three most common ways you self-bully.
    • Now, what you want to believe about yourself instead?
    • Every morning and every night say to yourself (or write down) three compliments about yourself. You can include your actions, your character, or your personality traits.
  1. Build a Liferaft. We are all in need of emotional support now more than ever before.
    • To build an emotional life raft, it’s important to become very purposeful and honest with yourself.
    • WHO in your life leaves you feeling emotionally safe and cozy?
    • How often do you want to interact with them?
    • Reach out to ask how you might also help them emotionally.
      • For example, you might commit to a Friday night zoom happy hour with one friend and a walk outside in nature while you talk on the phone with another friend every Sunday morning.
  1. Get Silly Every Day. With all the very real and overwhelming events of the last year, we’ve lost our playfulness.
    • Spending 20 minutes every afternoon to get physically silly will allow you to physically and emotionally loosen up. This is also a fantastic way to promote bonding with your partner and older kiddos.
    • This might look like a dance party, playing Twister, or getting on the floor to play with your golden retriever.

Line up some REAL Resolutions. Set yourself up for success by creating resolutions that are realistic, exciting to you, aligned with what is important (to YOU) and little.

Most of all, remember to be gentle with yourself and kind to yourself along the way. The truth of the matter is, being hard on yourself doesn’t make you feel good and doesn’t model good self-care to your children.

When your baby becomes a teen, they’ll notice EVERYTHING. So if you need some practice being kind to yourself, better start now and you’ll have lots of time to practice! I know it seems like a long time in the future right now, but the saying is true “time flies”.

To learn more about setting R.E.A.L. Resolutions, visit: